Questions That Annoyed Me And The Justification That Really Annoyed Me

Question 6: What is Person 1′s sex?

Asked since 1790. Census data about sex are important because many federal programs must differentiate between males and females for funding, implementing and evaluating their programs. For instance, laws promoting equal employment opportunity for women require census data on sex. Also, sociologists, economists, and other researchers who analyze social and economic trends use the data.

So, if there are too many women maybe we do not need equal employment opportunity laws? Or a very little number of women will not justify those laws? Meaning not enough number of votes to justify throwing them a bone? (no pun intended.) I was reminded of this asshole sociologist with some thesis on counting data who told me “How can I talk about the poor if I can’t tell the government how many of them there are?” Brilliant.

I usually leave this question blank. Today I felt like telling them I have a dick. Not that it makes me a man..but that’s what they believe having a dick means..so I marked male.

Question 8: Is Person 1 of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin?

Asked since 1970. The data collected in this question are needed by federal agencies to monitor compliance with anti-discrimination provisions, such as under the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act. State and local governments may use the data to help plan and administer bilingual programs for people of Hispanic origin.

I just wish I could believe what they monitor is compliance with anti-discrimination provisions. Yeah right, they just want to know how much our numbers are growing! SCARY…..maybe I am too paranoid. So OK, I guess my senator may be able to ask for more money for programs that will allegedly benefit the people of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin in my Hispanic, Latino or Spanish neighborhood,  So I answered yes, they made it easy for me, there it was yes, Puerto Rican. Stressful but not painful.

Question 9: What is Person 1′s race?
Asked since 1790. Race is key to implementing many federal laws and is needed to monitor compliance with the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act. State governments use the data to determine congressional, state and local voting districts. Race data are also used to assess fairness of employment practices, to monitor racial disparities in characteristics such as health and education and to plan and obtain funds for public services.
WTF what’s my race? Does the one drop rule apply? I looked more carefully and there were many, many races! With subcategories! I counted 19 and one blank space in case I am from Pluto. What should I do? after all, I told my students that race is an invention. I hope my students never fill the census and face this question.

Suddenly, I realized, I could mark as many races as I wanted, great! These people are so sensitive, they really care, I was touched. And they understand. Some weeks ago, I was with some friends at cubbyhole, and EVERYONE was singing chorus to a Bon Jovi song, and I was singing with them, and suddenly I felt so white! Maybe I can mark white too in the census, they understand me! Hmm, I don’t think so, that is why they have ethnicity before they ask for race, because they know some of those Hispanics, Latinos or Spanish people love to mark white in the race category, this way they can discreetly count them OUT.

Then it happened, just like when I go to the supermarket to buy toilet paper, or soap, or dish washing detergent, I stare at the aisle for minutes, trying to get the right one for me, sometimes I just give up and walk away. And after staring at all my race choices for a while, that is exactly what I did, I left the stupid question blank. So, what if because of me leaving this blank, they change my district and I lose my Hispanic, Latino or Spanish Representative!?!?! That will be great cause he SUCKS!!!